Self Confidence in Parenting

There's a reason why so many people say it's the hardest job you'll ever have--raising a child. It's challenging, exciting, nerve-wracking, and one of the most amazing things you'll ever experience. Raising a child will put you through every emotion possible, including self-doubt.

Along with the joy of raising a child can come the fear that you're going to do something wrong, create permanent psychological damage, or a whole list of other things that may not go quite right. But relax--keeping a few simple things in mind can help raise your confidence as a parent.

First, know that you will make mistakes. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. If you keep this in mind, you can take a great deal of pressure off yourself. Do your best, of course, but understand that there will be bumps along the road--possibly quite a few of them.

Rather than trying to be a perfect parent, do what you can to prepare for those bumps. Understand where your child is in development and learn what to expect; then expect the unexpected. Also remember that the worst may not happen. Your child may not go through the "terrible twos" or be a reckless teenager. Remember that all children are different. Try not to compare your child or your parenting to others or you may cause yourself unnecessary stress.

Don't believe everything the experts say. Sure, many experts have experience working with hundreds or even thousands of children. Listen to what they have to say, but don't take it as the final say. You know your child better than anyone, and if a piece of advice doesn't seem right for your child, trust your instincts. You're probably right. What may have worked for others may not work for you, and that's okay.

Family and friends are also likely to provide you with ample advice, some of which may be useful and some of which may not. Try to avoid the temptation of giving in to pressure from others if you feel that it is not right for your family situation. This can be difficult, particularly in close relationships. But establishing those boundaries because you know what's best for your child will help increase your confidence simply by knowing that you can determine what's best for you and stand up for it.

Spend time with your child. This may sound like old advice, but more and more studies show that children whose parents show an interest in them are better equipped to deal with some of life's challenges. This also helps you know your child better, which will in turn help you make better choices. It works well for everyone involved.

Seek help when you need it. This may sound contradictory to the earlier statements, but it's actually not. When you know your child and his or her needs well, you have a much better understanding of what advice to accept and what to reject. If you are dealing with a difficult or serious situation, and feel that it is out of your control, it's time to seek outside help.

This does not mean you are a failure. Rather, it shows that you are confident enough in yourself and your parenting to recognize that you may not have all the answers. Certain situations, such as out of control behavior or drug abuse require outside intervention. It's okay to ask for help when you need it, so don't put yourself down if this is the case.

Finally, remember that you are doing the best you can at any given moment. Life doesn't go smoothly all the time, and this is often most obvious in parenting. It's okay to make mistakes and even admit them. And when your children see you do this, you'll show them that a confident person is not perfect and that everyone makes mistakes from time to time. This in turn will help your children feel more confident when they make mistakes, too.

Self Confident People Make a Mighty Nation

Self-confident people generate money

Self-confident people are filled with optimism and positive thoughts. They have an “I Can” attitude towards life and think it is possible to do great things. They are an asset to the organization they work for as they can be given tasks that demand greater responsibility and accountability.

They hence keep up the quality, which in turn helps their employers to reap greater profits and thus contribute to the well being of both employees and the employer. People like Bill Gates have contributed millions of dollars to the economies of their countries and have been involved in lots of philanthropic work worldwide as well.

Self-confident people generate jobs

Self-confident people are natural risk takers and have enough courage to pursue their innovative dreams. Self-confident people often work very hard for the dreams they believe in and often end up as becoming successful entrepreneurs. They create a lot of jobs for others by their innovative business ventures.

Though Edison faced a lot of difficulties as a child, his mother ensured that his self-confidence did not die. She made all efforts to encourage him and see him become successful. Today GE started by Edison is one of the world’s most competitive corporate organizations and is a hugely admired employer of thousands of people

Self-confident people make the nation self dependent

Entrepreneurs are a great catalyst of growth in any country. They do not sit idly waiting for the government reforms to come and pull them out. Instead they work out innovative ideas, which have commercial feasibility as well. They share the burden of the state by employing other people and giving them jobs.

It saves the government lots of effort and money that could have been wasted in providing for the jobless youth. The money saved can then be routed to other developmental works for the benefit of all. The country does not need to borrow from the organisations like the World Bank and can deal with its developmental affairs independently.

Self-confident people present a better image of the nation

A nation of busy people conducting their day-to-day affairs is much better picture than having unemployed people taking on bad habits and creating a nuisance. Self-confident people are the face of any country, signifying optimism, hard work, determination and self-reliance. This helps the country to portray a picture of hope, dynamism, and growth to foreign investors who would like to conduct business activity and invest money in the country. This help create more and more jobs and a culture of hard work and achievement.

Self-confident people develop a habit of winning

Failure is an addiction and so is winning. It is just a matter of putting your efforts and thoughts in the right direction to become a winner and self-confident people do just that. A positive thought and self-confidence is what is needed to take an initiative, and a small achievement becomes the source of energy. This energy also gives a boost to the self-confidence of a person to take on a bigger leap and get successful. Thus every achievement breeds another initiative for yet another achievement!

Self-confident people help other people achieve their dreams

A person other than having the feeling of kindness and compassion for fellow human beings should also have enough resources or the ability to create resources to be able to help other people for the same. Self-confident people therefore are willing to give a helping hand to people and pull them up.

Self-confident people are an inspiration to others

Self-confident people succeed on both their professional and personal fronts. Self-confident people are respected and often spark others to perform as well and serve as a great inspiration for other people. People take a lesson from their struggles and their ability to turn failure into achievement.

Self-confident people strengthen the fabric of society

An idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Self-confident people in a way save the society from the devil by being busy and involved in constructive activities. People tend to get inspired from self-confident people and the general atmosphere becomes that of hard work and achievement. Such an environment is conducive for growth and development and self-confident people should be given every credit for the same. This overall movement raises the overall self-confidence of the nation and makes it more competitive and a confident participant in the world economic scenario.

photo of Angel

Score Killer: Low Self Confidence

Face it, taking a test is a nerve wracking experience. The more important the test, the more nerves are involved and can be a key factor in your score. Some individuals have called for an end to testing, since it is an unfair way to measure the information an individual has learned. Since that is not a suitable option, individuals must shift their focus from “why should I take a test” to “how should I take a test?” Testing is well entrenched in today’s society.

In school, we must take tests to prove our comprehension of a certain subject, we must take driving examinations in order to receive the necessary licenses, and we must tests to determine our general intelligence. However, the way we test is as important as the subject of the test itself. Self confidence plays a major factor in your testing score and for good reason. When you trust yourself, you tend to make better decisions and clearer judgments. You do not second guess your first instinct and confuse yourself due to doubt.

Before you enter into any examination, you should mentally prepare yourself for the test in addition to preparing for the specific subjects covered by the test. One way to do this is to maintain a positive attitude about your capabilities. If you enter into any examination with a poor attitude, you are guaranteed to do poorly on the test. You may have the subject carefully instilled in your mind, but your low self confidence will undermine your attempt every time.

Even if you find you know the answers to the questions present, that voice of doubt in the back of your head will surface and make you question the correctness of each answer you supply. A general rule of thumb is to go with your initial (or gut) instinct. If you feel an answer is correct, more often than not it is correct. However, when your low self confidence kicks in and makes you unable to trust your instincts, problems arise.

One way to conquer the low self confidence killer is to thoroughly prepare for the test before hand. No one does well walking into a test completely unprepared, and you are no different. Take time to review the material carefully in the method to which you are best accustomed to studying. Some individuals find they pick up and retain more information in a verbal question and answer session. Others individuals are visual learners and find the use of cue cards or flash cards exceedingly helpful.

Whatever the case, find your preferred method of study and stick with it! Ask for help from a friend or family member if necessary. After you have reviewed the material, create and complete a practice test. Have a friend or family member administer the examination in a formal manner. This puts you on the spot and calls your self confidence into play. If you can successfully complete the test, whether verbal or written, your self confidence will be boosted.

However, if you take your practice examination and find yourself second guessing your answers, that is a good sign you do not know the material well enough. Consider reviewing the information more in depth, then try the test again.

On the day of the test, forgo last minute cramming. Studies have shown this rush to learn a trivial bit of information is pointless, as your brain cannot retain such hurried information in a reasonable fashion. Instead, take a moment to calm your nerves and reinforce your self confidence. If you are at peace with yourself and your capabilities, you will succeed on your exam.

Score Killer: Low Self Confidence

Face it, taking a test is a nerve wracking experience. The more important the test, the more nerves are involved and can be a key factor in your score. Some individuals have called for an end to testing, since it is an unfair way to measure the information an individual has learned. Since that is not a suitable option, individuals must shift their focus from “why should I take a test” to “how should I take a test?” Testing is well entrenched in today’s society.

In school, we must take tests to prove our comprehension of a certain subject, we must take driving examinations in order to receive the necessary licenses, and we must tests to determine our general intelligence. However, the way we test is as important as the subject of the test itself. Self confidence plays a major factor in your testing score and for good reason. When you trust yourself, you tend to make better decisions and clearer judgments. You do not second guess your first instinct and confuse yourself due to doubt.

Before you enter into any examination, you should mentally prepare yourself for the test in addition to preparing for the specific subjects covered by the test. One way to do this is to maintain a positive attitude about your capabilities. If you enter into any examination with a poor attitude, you are guaranteed to do poorly on the test. You may have the subject carefully instilled in your mind, but your low self confidence will undermine your attempt every time.

Even if you find you know the answers to the questions present, that voice of doubt in the back of your head will surface and make you question the correctness of each answer you supply. A general rule of thumb is to go with your initial (or gut) instinct. If you feel an answer is correct, more often than not it is correct. However, when your low self confidence kicks in and makes you unable to trust your instincts, problems arise.

One way to conquer the low self confidence killer is to thoroughly prepare for the test before hand. No one does well walking into a test completely unprepared, and you are no different. Take time to review the material carefully in the method to which you are best accustomed to studying. Some individuals find they pick up and retain more information in a verbal question and answer session. Others individuals are visual learners and find the use of cue cards or flash cards exceedingly helpful.

Whatever the case, find your preferred method of study and stick with it! Ask for help from a friend or family member if necessary. After you have reviewed the material, create and complete a practice test. Have a friend or family member administer the examination in a formal manner. This puts you on the spot and calls your self confidence into play. If you can successfully complete the test, whether verbal or written, your self confidence will be boosted.

However, if you take your practice examination and find yourself second guessing your answers, that is a good sign you do not know the material well enough. Consider reviewing the information more in depth, then try the test again.

On the day of the test, forgo last minute cramming. Studies have shown this rush to learn a trivial bit of information is pointless, as your brain cannot retain such hurried information in a reasonable fashion. Instead, take a moment to calm your nerves and reinforce your self confidence. If you are at peace with yourself and your capabilities, you will succeed on your exam.

Regaining Your Self Esteem After an Abusive Relationship

Abuse relationships have the capability to inflict tremendous physical and psychological distress on the individual in the relationship. In addition to emotional and literal scars that are caused by abusive relationships, an individual’s self esteem can be completely demolished.

Many individuals in an abusive relationship have been consistently told and shown they are not of value, nor of worth. After constant reminders, both men and women who are victims of abusive relationships begin to think these derogatory remarks are true. Instead of the inner feeling of self worth and confidence, these individuals have little or no self esteem left after the destructive effects of an abusive relationship.

If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, you should immediately remove yourself from the situation. Quite often, this is easier said than done as abusive relationships are initiated and maintained under the pretense of love and affection. If an individual has your well being in mind and truly cares about you, he or she will not verbally or physically abuse you.

Even though this abusive individual apologizes or begs your forgiveness, abuse is cyclic and this behavior is part of its final cycle. Usually, individuals in abusive relationships say their partner is loving and supportive, then violent and abusive, then apologetic and loving. This cycle continues until either party decides enough is enough and ends the cycle.

Individuals in abusive relationships often find themselves trapped and feel their options are extremely limited or nonexistent. If you are in an abusive relationship and feel there is no way out, reevaluate your situation. Turn to friends or family members who will support you in your decision to break ties and end the relationship.

Individuals who are truly your loved ones will want whatever is best for you and support you in any decisions you may make. If you have no one to turn to, seek help from shelters or different organizations that are in existence to help people in your specific situation. With the help of these individuals, you can begin rebuilding your life and renewing your self esteem.

Once you have made the decision to break free from your abusive relationship, begin the process of rebuilding your life. This rebuilding process may take some time, so be prepared to invest a great deal of time and effort into rebuilding your life. You may need to make serious choices regarding your future, including changing locations to another city and changing your choice of career.

Leaving an abusive relationship will most likely mean moving into a new home. You may need temporary housing, so consider staying with friends or family members or staying at a shelter that specializes in abusive relationships. This is an incredibly difficult decision, but the best boost to your self esteem will come after you have made the decision and begin to piece your life back together.

After you have begun the rebuilding process, you may need to seek professional help regarding your mental or physical state. Speaking with a psychologist or counselor may be the initiation necessary to continue rebuilding your self esteem. Seek out a professional that will assist you in that specific area using a variety of different exercises and techniques.

Furthermore, you may wish to join a support group so that you can speak with other individuals who have suffered similar abuse. If you do not have access to a support group or feel attending a support group is not for you at his point in time, consider accessing the World Wide Web and finding a chat room that will serve as support. Once you start on your road to recovery, stay strong and remember you are an individual of worth and value. This will continue to build your self esteem and rebuild your life.

Building Your Child's Self Esteem

It's one of those things that all parents want to provide for their children and one of those things that many feel they do not know how to do: raise a self-confident child. Self-esteem oftentimes seems like a fragile, distant thing that we all know what it is but don't know how to develop.

Your self-esteem is a compilation of how you feel about yourself. It encompasses everything from your confidence in relationships, to your body image, to your work life. So how do you foster this "thing" in your children?

We teach our children "honesty is the best policy." This applies to how we deal with our children as much as it does expecting them to be honest with us. When it comes to your child's self-esteem, he or she will know or be able to sense if you are not being honest. For example, if art is not your child's top skill, don't say that his or her drawing is the best you've ever seen.

Your child will know it's not, and will not believe you the next time you say something meant to be positive, no matter how honest it is. Instead, tell your child something genuine about the piece or the effort. Make non-judgmental statements such as, "You really used your imagination in making the flowers many different colors." This simply states your observation, rather than a false statement.

Also, understand that your child and your child's behavior are two separate things. This can be very hard to remember, particularly when your child is acting out in ways that make you crazy or that are unsafe.

However, when you discipline your child for the behavior rather than the person, you can positively influence and foster self esteem. Why? If your child feels that you are mad, because of who he or she is as a person rather than for the behavior, this can negatively affect your child's self-esteem. Using "I" statements helps with this. Say something like, "I don't like it when you leave your toys scattered all over the floor," which also addresses the behavior, rather than, "You are a slob," which attacks their character.

Let your child make some decisions. Children are in a situation where everyone else is constantly telling them what to do, when to do it, where to go, and more. When children are allowed to make some choices, even if it's something small, they learn to be self-reliant.

You don't want your children growing up feeling dependent on others for direction. Simple choices such as what to wear (you can offer two or three choices) or choosing a special lunch item will foster your child's being able to think independently.

Encourage your children to try new things. While there's nothing wrong with encouraging your child's talents--this will help build self-confidence as well--it's also important that your children learn to experiment. Trying new things helps everyone overcome fears of the unknown and helps us learn to deal with success and failure. If a child never learns to try new things, this can create problems later in life.

After all, most people do not live in world where everything is the same day after day. Life is constantly changing, whether it's a move to a new city or starting a new career. If children are experienced at trying new things, even if small, life's bigger transitions will be much easier--such as leaving for college and starting a career.

These are, of course, only a few things you can do to help develop your child's self-confidence. The important thing to remember is that it is an ongoing process. The little things do add up, even if they seem unimportant. This can be helpful to keep in mind, particularly when something as important as developing your child's self esteem feels like a monumental task. It doesn't have to be! Taking time to recognize your child for the wonderful person he or she is, combined with a few techniques and consistency will go a long way toward raising a healthy, confident adult.

By Russ Lie